i've not really had a project since the month of may. my reserve in my bank account is half as it could've been. i'm late on meeting my deadline on my own stall. i bought the rent of a stall for a festival, which costed me a certain percent of my reserve. i don't know what to do with the big stall that's empty. i've used a large chunk of my reserve to print t-shirts in order to fill up the stall. i went to see some samples of the t-shirts, they were not of my optimum quality. i showed some people the designs of the t-shirts, they say it's too "cute" for their tastes, while nobody else seemed to be at awed by the t-shirts. i told them my selling price, they say it's too expensive.
is my world going to tumble down upon me? not exactly. i can still take a hit, or two. so i guess i'm doing good.
in fact, i think i'm starting to feel that a lot of good luck is coming towards me.
i don't know where i get this kind of confidence. right now, i'm practically shaking with fear of don't know what i'm going to do about my stall. but on the other hand, it seems that quite a few set-backs, and hurdles along the way has helped align a few stars in my favor. now, i can see that as long as i meet a couple of minor deadlines in this couple of days, i've actually achieved what i've set out to do in the first place. which is, having enough prints to at least make the numbers.
i'm not saying that i want to pat myself at the back, i just want to write this journal as a reflective of my own fear of failure. that i should not be afraid of failing anymore. and, that i've got a lot of people who's got my backs. that includes my family, friends, and also you guys online. yes, a few thousand dollars that i might never gain back should be inevitable. but who knows, right?
so, as i am beginning to see the silver lining behind quite a ride i've had around this year...
ok, enough of the egoistic talk of beginning every sentence with "i". here's a quote i like to share with my watchers, don't know if i've shared it before, but i'm gonna share it again anyways. it's from an american reporter, jacob riis. the quote has since been made famous by coach gregg popovich of nba basketball team, the san antonio spurs:
“When nothing seems to help, I go look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before.” i know that a few friends out there reading this journal are having a hard time in life. even more are suffering without me knowing it because you might not have shared your story with me. all the same, just let me share what has helped me gone through my obstacles. though i'm not successful yet, and even if i did succeed, it might be relatively a 'meh' thing to most people. all the same, i just want my friends to carry on fighting. don't give up. pound the rock.
p/s: wish me luck on sales with the stall. haha.